Defragmenting my life

Do you remember the older Windows versions? Once a month you had to run that stupid function to defragment the computer hard drive and sort out the bits of bi-numeric data not to slow down your system. None of us liked it, because it used to take ages for the process to finish. Worst of all, during that time, there was nothing else you could do with your computer. However, once the process was complete, the computer did run better after all. It may be a machine, but the truth is, I learned a great deal from it. I recently realized that my life is actually in too many bits and pieces. It may not be bi-numeric data, but it surely involves the core elements of my everyday operation; matters of the heart, facts of life and of course, past experiences.

When I look back on the last few years, my life has been full. Of course everything wasn’t good, nor was everything bad. But if I’m going to be completely honest on here, I might just as well say it; I’ve been hurt one too many times. I’m at the point in my life where I’m actually in doubt about too many things. Will I find a decent job? Will I live an easy life? Will I earn enough money? Will I find a decent guy? Will I fall in love again? Will my dreams come true? I don’t want to doubt that good things still happen. I don’t want to doubt that there is someone out there who will treat me different and better than all the previous idiots. I don’t want to doubt if tomorrow will be better than today. I want to believe that things do get better, that stories do have a clear beginning, middle and end, that dreams do come true and that true love comes around and lasts forever.

But in order to do that, I will have to pick up all these bits and pieces, sort them, store them in the right places, delete the ones that needs to be deleted, keep the ones that drives me forward and make room for better things to happen in the future. I am thus defragmenting my life as of today; taking a break from the old, looking through different eyes and preparing for a better tomorrow. It may take wekks, months, even years, but I know when I come out of this process, that my system will once again run smoothly and that Etienne will finally operate as Etienne again.

Press ‘START’ to continue…

Processing…

Defragmentation in progress. Do not turn off the system.

... process is 1% complete ...